The Illuminerd Theories

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So, I have allowed myself to be abused for over 7 years. Yea, things were pretty fun at first. I always felt that my willingness to serve and provide would result in a happy ending with sincere thankfulness for the burdens bared. However, it hasn’t yet, and I grow ever more depressed over being yelled at. How is it that I am the one left alone to take care of our son, while it is her responsibility to go buy wine and beer for her friends so they can hang out at her place (which she cant afford, so I have to go out and slit my wrists while signing over my soul to the payday loan sharks.) ? I am doing my best to be Dad AND Mom in this situation, My son is the coolest kid you’ll ever meet, but my sanity is wearing thin, and I take out my stress by yelling at him far to often lately. I am amazed at how resilient he is, no matter how mad I get, he can keep such a cheerful outlook on this painful greed filled world.

My only wish is that she could be more like the mother I had when I was a kid. She was always there to make meals and be my mom. Today’s girls seem to have this expectation of living in their fantasy castle where everyone has to follow orders and take care of her every need for them.

I am losing my friends over this, Everyone sees how much I am being used, and it being my own fault for not putting my foot down over it. I am obligated to be the “go-to-guy” to put his neck on the line every time, or else I am a deadbeat.